Don't get me wrong, I utterly adore O; he is one of the greatest people that have ever come into my life. I just don't feel done. I don't know how to cope with the idea of potentially being done. Instead, each month there's that little bit of hope and a dream that I'll find that I have fallen pregnant and these thoughts can be pushed aside. And then each month there's that moment when reality hits, I feel that hole in my heart open up and consume me once again and then I carry on, because you can't stop being a mom to that bouncing energy ball of cuteness.
Today, I feel a little sad but I'll save some hope for next month because I will not give up on my dream.